


The Emperor's New Crime Lord

by elderwitty



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-11
Updated: 2011-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-21 06:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/222010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elderwitty/pseuds/elderwitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toast and Johnny D, together</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Emperor's New Crime Lord

**Author's Note:**

> In leupagus's journal, theonlytwin mentioned a desire for a Toast and Johnny D spin-off and bromance. I hit reply to '+1', but this happened instead.

Toast

Toast keeps the spreadsheets on which ticky-tack item was stolen from what overdecorated boast of a house, so that the next time Five-0 catches Johnny D (a sad inevitability, since the doofus can **not** ignore a text from Kono no matter what obviously fake stripper moniker she uses. That girl is his sextual siren. She's got his short and curlies in her magical digits. She's the flower and he's Ferdinand.

He can suspect it's her. He can be told it's her. Hell, Toast can pull up _surveillance video_ of Kono typing with a wicked smirk ... doesn't mean D's gonna stop himself going panting to the meeting; hoping against hope that this time it'll actually be Amber [or Tif'fanny, Mysti, or Pheobe {naughty librarian stripper, don't ask}], so jazzed at a ride in his ground-effected lovemobile that they won't protest Toast coming along and bringing his lollipop- er, ... Wow, that batch was strong) they'll have some leverage to work on Danny and his crazy boyfriend.

(And what's with Danny calling him _Mavis_ now?)

Johnny

Oh my god, Kono's sexting skills. Who wouldn't trail around after her with a cartoon-style tongue dragging the ground? She's got quite the imagination. (Also, Johnny D might think it's just about worth getting caught if she's the one who books him. She smells good in the car on the way back to headquarters.)

Re: Pheobe  
See, Johhny D. grew up on the _James Bond_ movies, and got his first stirrings when the secretary lady took off her glasses, let down her hair and shook it out, turning from a nerd into a beautiful bird.

He's been looking for one of his own ever since. And with a stage name like "Pheobe", what else could she be?


End file.
